And Then There Was Whiskey
by Ellipsis Black
Summary: Draco's gone for a visit to the Burrow. Things get started when he mistakes a Barbie Doll for his mother, but they really get going with a bottle of whiskey.


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And Then There Was Whiskey

By Ellipsis Black  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: Not mine. *sigh*  
Pairing: Draco/Ginny 

Notes: Challenge fic. Had to include a bottle of Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey, a sparkly purple tank top, bangle bracelets, 'But I thought Orlando Bloom was a blonde!', an icicle, a Barbie, Long-lash mascara, pleather trousers, tabasco sauce, the pimp cane and apple martinis.   
Extra points for finding the Hilary Duff reference.   
Summary: Draco's gone for a visit to the Burrow. Uh oh.

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Draco strode into the Burrow precisely on seven o'clock. Ginny met him at the door and took his coat. She was about to take his cane (inherited from his father) but he clutched it to his breast protectively.

Rose, Fred's daughter was playing with a Barbie doll on the floor by the door. Draco strode over curiously and snatched the doll from her.

"Mother?" he said, alarmed. "What have they done to you?"

He produced his wand and did a spell over the Barbie. It came to life in his hands and looked around. When set it on the ground, it promptly fell over sideways and broke its back.

Ginny intervened. "Draco, that's a Barbie doll. It's a Muggle toy."

Draco's lip curled and he brushed his hands fastidiously on his black silk shirt. "Trust Mother to have a hand in the Muggle toy industry. That is jut _so_ like her."

"Come on through," said Ginny, smirking.

Draco ducked through into the kitchen, following Ginny, and leaving a bawling Rose trying to fix up her doll. 

Seated around the table were Molly, Arthur and Fred Weasley. Ginny had told him that Ron was also expected.

Arthur and Molly greeted him cautiously. He had been to the Burrow before, and they had visited him at the Manor, but there was just something innately wrong with allowing their daughter to be corrupted by a Malfoy.

"Draco, would you like a drink?"

"I'll have an apple martini, thanks."

"An apple what?" asked Molly, perplexed. Fred snorted but otherwise ignored their guest.

Draco made some hand gestures. "An apple martini. Apple liqueur, vodka…" he trailed off and sighed. "What do you have?"

"Er, well…" said Arthur, "My cousin just sent us a bottle of Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey…"

"That will do then."

He seated himself next to Ginny and gave her a look as if to say, "See, I'm being nice to the plebes!"

Arthur pulled the whiskey down from a high cupboard and se it on the table with a glass. Draco opened the bottle and poured a liberal dose into the glass. He downed half of it in one gulp.

A rather awkward silence commenced, broken briefly when Rose started wailing and Fred ran out to comfort her, then again when Ginny asked Arthur how Bill was going in Turkey, and at last, once more when Molly announced that the dinner was ready. She doled out liberal portions onto everyone's plate.

Draco took a cautious bite of his. "Tabasco sauce?" he wailed. "I _hate_ Tabasco sauce!"

Everyone ignored him. Draco was known for his supposed finicky eating habits. In reality, he would eat almost anything. He just liked complaining about it.

"So," Molly began. She stopped and stared out the window.

"Oh, Arthur, it's that pesky Orlando Bloom again. He's hanging around outside the gate waiting for Ron. Take the broom and drive him away, there's a dear."

Draco, who had jumped up and peered out the window when Molly spoke, turned solemnly to Arthur and offered the pimp cane. Arthur accepted it and proceeded out the door, pimp cane brandished at the ready. Draco looked at Ginny and frowned.

"But I thought Orlando Bloom was a blonde!"

Ginny had dragged Draco off to see Lord of the Rings, after he'd scoffed at the prospect of Muggles being able to produce moving portraits. Draco had been an absolute pest. He'd insisted on scourgifying the whole theatre (to rid it of the horrid Muggle influence and make it clean enough for him to enter) and transfiguring his chair into a plush green armchair. Ginny had had to perform a couple of judicious memory charms as they left.

"Draco, dear," she said, "That was a wig."

Draco fluffed his metaphorical feathers and sat back down. "I knew that hair was too pretty to be real. Only Malfoys have hair that blonde naturally. Why is Orlando Bloom hanging around the Burrow."

Ginny grinned. "Fred and George cast an irresistible spell on Ron as a prank. The next person Ron touched would be unable to resist him. By some bizarre coincidence, Ron managed to brush by Orlando Bloom in London."

Draco looked horrified at the thought of anyone being drawn to Ronald Weasley.

Ginny laughed outright this time. "Come on, beautiful," she said, pulling him to his feet. "Let's go upstairs."

Molly, preoccupied with watching Arthur beat off Orlando Bloom, didn't notice when they left. Not did she notice that Draco absconded with the whiskey.

They headed for Ginny's old room, which, like so many in the Burrow, was now empty most of the time. The bed was still made, and when Draco looked in the drawers, there were a few items of clothing. He pulled one out. It was a very revealing sparkly purple singlet top.

"Gin, when did you wear this?" he asked.

Ginny took a sip out of the whiskey bottle and laughed. "Sixth year. Seventh year leaving ball. Seamus Finnegan invited me."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Indeed. How is it that I did not notice this delicious piece of… well, I hesitate to say 'clothing'?"

Ginny kissed him. "Would you like me to put it on now?"

Draco ran his hand down the column of her neck. "I'd _love_ you to."

Ginny snagged the top out of his hand and turned around. She pulled off her knit jumper and handed it to him. Then she undid her bra and let it drop off

The top was rather tighter around the bust than it had been in sixth year, but she got it on. She turned around.

Draco nearly dislocated his jaw staring at her. He took a liberal swig of the whiskey. That top seemed to fit her in all the right places. 

Ginny shivered. "It's freezing."

Draco smiled. "Let me warm you up." He crossed the room and handed her the whiskey. 

Ginny looked at him suspiciously. "If I didn't know better, Draco Malfoy, I'd say you were trying to get me drunk." Nonetheless, she drank some of the whiskey and made a face. "Potent."

Draco reached into the drawer again and pulled out a pair of leather pants.

Ginny smiled dreamily. "Those bring back memories," she said.

"Leather is _so_ yesterday," he announced with great, if slightly tipsy, authority. "_Pleather_ is the new leather."

"Indeed?" Ginny took a swig of the whiskey. She started to pull off the purple top and put her own back on. 

Draco, thinking to help, reached over and snapped her bra around her waist. They got a bit tangled for a while, but finally, Ginny was dressed. She looked down and started giggling.

"What?" asked Draco.

"I'm…" she began. "I'm…" she took another gulp of whiskey. Draco snatched it off her and did likewise. "I'm…" Ginny said again. "I'm… wearing my clothes wrong way up."

Draco considered. "Yes," he slurred slightly. "Doesn't one usually wear one's bra underneath one's shirt? If one wears a bra, that is. I personally don't, but I'm sure that if I did, it would be under my shirt." He surreptitiously felt his shirt to check if he was wearing a bra.

Ginny, meanwhile, was contorting herself trying to get her clothes on right. Finally she managed it, but her hair was all mussed and her make-up was smudged. 

She tottered over to her mirror and flattened her hair. Then she reached into another drawer in the nightstand and produced some mascara and lipstick. Draco eyed the mascara with interest. "What brand is that?"

Ginny told him.

"Oh…" Draco said. "I prefer a different brand."

Ginny swung to face him and toppled over.

When she had pulled herself up again, she asked, "You wear sparkly long-lash mascara?"

"Well," said Draco. "It's not _always_ sparkly. It depends on my mood."

"You wear mascara? Are you wearing it now?" Ginny peered at his eyelashes.

"My eyelashes are naturally light!" said Draco defensively. "I have to wear mascara to darken them."

Ginny pounced him, knocking them both onto the bed. "I love you!" she declared exuberantly.

Draco kissed her. "Ditto and likewise, baby," he returned, slurring his s just a bit.

"Oh look!" Ginny exclaimed, peering out the window. "Ron's here!"

Draco glanced up too.

Ron was indeed there. He was being accosted by Orlando Bloom, who had grabbed the unfortunate Weasley and thrown him to the ground.

"Gin gin," said Draco slowly, "Why is Ron wearing bangle bracelets?"

"Oh… Hermy gave them to him. She thinks they're cute." Ginny giggled. "Every time he tries to take them off, she goes into a sulk until he puts them back on." 

Orlando Bloom had gotten his hand on Ron's trouser buttons and was hastily undoing them. Even from Ginny's room, Draco could hear the yelp. Ron shot up in the air and hightailed it into the house, giving Draco a traumatic view of a freckly white backside.

Determinedly, he got up and stalked down the stairs.

"What are you doing, Drakkie?" Ginny called, stumbling after him.

Draco stalked out into the snow in front of the Burrow and started jumping, reaching up towards the overhang.

Ginny teetered out after him. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Trying to pull down an icicle."

"Why?"

"I want to stab myself to death. I don't want to live anymore. The image of Weasley's bum haunts me."

"Oh…" Ginny began. She thought for a while, face screwed up in concentration. "Couldn't we just kiss instead?"

Draco considered. "Yes…" he said eventually.

Another passionate snog insued.

"Hey," yelled Orlando Bloom indignantly. "Get a room!"


End file.
